The First Two Hours of Every Freelance Project

1. Arrange necessary materials in accessible spread around computer.
2. Review e-mail from project coordinator.
3. While you're at it, read other e-mails.
4. Reopen e-mail from project coordinator in new window.
5. Open editing program.
6. Check Facebook.

Waking Life

I just came across a note I wrote several months ago. It says: The Oxford English Dictionary's French-Canadian Guide to American Line Dancing, and it is a book I saw someone reading in a dream. I will search for it the rest of my life.

Favorite Sentences in the English Language Comprising of Only Four Words

Pizza by the Slice

Hot-N-Ready Pizza

Delicious Unlimited Pizza Buffet

Pizza for Emily's Consumption

Did Someone Say Pizza?

I'll Buy Your Pizza

I Owe You Anyway!

Yeah! Remember Last Time

Haha, That Was Funny

What's that Guy Wearing?

Don't Look at Him!

OK, Wait — Look Now

Still Haven't Read That Book

Where do English majors go to die?

A) Starbucks
B) Law school
C) That street corner, with a blood alcohol content of 4.0.