These are my two favorite mugs. Both were obtained at resale shops. For reasons which I cannot comprehend, other people did not want them. Think about it: Someone gave away a mug that says YOU. I do not understand! More logically would be the notion that someone was forced to get rid of these items. Was it because of a jealous wife? A bitter, kleptomaniac houseguest? Who owned each mug? If the previous owners got together, who would win the fight and what would be their weapon of choice? These are questions of great importance.
It's Christmas 1998. Grandma Mildred finely finds the perfect gift for her daughter Lucy and new husband Earl while using this new fancy thing called the internets. There she finds that she can get personalized mugs for them both and have them shipped for only 29.95. Of course neither of them really use the mugs but they keep them in the cabinet for when her mother comes to visit.
ReplyDeleteThen that fateful day comes. Earl's HS girlfriend calls him, distraught over a breakup on the same weekend Lucy is out of town visiting her sister in Cleveland. She comes over and Earl and said HS girlfriend end up reminiscing and drinking cheap box wine from the only two clean cups in the cabinet which leads to the inevitable conclusion.
All would have been well if Earl understood one simple premise -- lipstick does not wash from glass in the dishwasher.
Lucy comes home, finds the lipstick on the mug, knows it's not her shade, throws it at Earl, misses him, it shatters against the wall. Lucy kicks him out in a jealous rage. They divorce three weeks later.
Earl moves to Seattle immediately leaving Lucy in a house she can't afford. She moves in with her mom but can't bear to pack up the house so filled with all too recent bitter memories. Mildred volunteers to go over and pack up the stuff and sell off what she doesn't need.
It is then that she comes across the Earl mug. Mildred knows the story of it's compatriot but either through her frugal nature or sadness of the metaphoric state of her daughter and ex-son-in-law, is unable to simply throw the mug away.
She puts it in a box along with the camping wedding gifts they never used and her daughter’s ridiculous shot glass collection, hoping that it will find a better home.
Only to be cracked almost immediately by the next owner who puts too hot a beverage in it.
We can read everything you post on Buzz!
I love it.
ReplyDeleteI read it with a sandwich in my mouth.
I laughed out loud.
I took a sip out of Earl.
And I don't care if everything I post on Buzz is public. I got nothin' to hide!